Proverbs 22:6 “Train a child in the way that he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it.”
This is one of those very common verses about parenting and I only start with this because it is Feb. 22 and I’m reading the “proverb” of the day kind of thing.
The word “train” is also translated in other places to mean a dedication or consecration and is used to describe those who are experienced.
There is another understanding of the word “train” and that is to motivate or initiate. The word is used in Arabic to describe how a parent would rub juice or oil on the baby’s palate to motivate him/her to suck, getting them to eat that which would help them grow healthy. However, the suggestion is made that this Arabic understanding is a latter connotation almost a 1000 years after this proverbs was originally written and therefore was not the original intent of meaning.
Either case, it’s pretty obvious that the word calls parents to be intentional in starting the influence. Influence that centers “according to the mouth of his way (literal translation).” The way describes the paths of righteousness, wisdom, understanding, discipline, etc. versus the paths of wickedness, fools, driven by uncontrolling human desires all of which the writer has been stressing since chapter 1. (There has been other debate on what “according to the mouth of his way/path/bent?” means but to suggest the parent trains the child according to the child’s way would suggest that the child know the best way he should already go?)
But there is certainly much to say about training and making the child experienced in their words, (keeping in line with the transliteration). Just as James says in 3:2-3 “For we all stumble in many ways. If someone does not stumble in what he says, he is a perfect individual, able to control the entire body as well. 3 And if we put bits into the mouths of horses to get them to obey us, then we guide their entire bodies.”
And since children are always watching us and learning our ways, we must be intentional about what comes out of our mouth. A lesson that I am forever learning.
In the end I believe the verse means this: that we must devote/dedicate our children at a very early age to become experienced in the way he/she should go and we must be intentional about what that is. As I like to say it around here, we must provide intentional Christian nurture for our youth to grow in a relationship with Jesus Christ.
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Is this verse a ‘promise’, Steve? Does it mean that if my goal as a parent is to lead my child into a God centered life, that my child’s life will turn out pleasing to the Lord? I certainly hope so.
But I struggle with this verse because I’ve known many godly parents whose children just have no desire to follow the path that they have directed for them. How does this verse fit into their lives?
I don’t really think any of these proverbs are necessarily what some call “promise” verses. They are not guarantees, but wise ways to live by. Life cannot be guaranteed to have certain outcomes just by following some formula or 12 steps, etc. But without some work towards the right path, with God’s help, the path left alone by itself is sure to be worse.
And that’s the point. If it were just a “do this” and this will happen, there would be no room for free will, human depravity, faith in God, evil workings in this world, a need of a Savior. There are other proverbs that talk about planning, etc., but it is still God who directs our steps! That is crazy to think about!
Another comment about “godly parents whose children just have no desire to follow the path that they have directed for them.” Sometimes a parents desire and what should be expected is quite different. Rather than desiring a child to never do the “big” wrongs, be good in school and be kind to others, the goal should be that the child grows to love God. That looks different for every person and should be geared according to what’s going on in that child’s life and what’s coming up. And sometimes, Christians just pile so called Christian values down the child’s throat and make all the decisions for the child so that when they become “free,” they rebel, not really being able to make the wise decision for themselves.
So in the end, the only thing we can do is to live our own life in the fear of the Lord, dedicate our lives and our children to God and trust God that our children will become independent followers of Christ.
Interesting stuff, Steve? I was curious about the word that get’s translated as “old” does it simply mean “grown up” or does it mean “senior citizen” or “middle aged”
If the latter two are correct, if “old” really means “old” and not simply “grown up” the verse almost implies we ought to expect a young adult hood period of rebellion; prodigal sons and daughters are bound to occur even with the best of parenting.
A completely different topic:
Would you share some insight over at my blog? There’s this really fascinating question that somebody brought up: why was Jesus baptized and why did Satan attack right after Jesus’ baptism? I’m a little baffled by it. The link is below if you’d like to share your council. (Is it obnoxious to put a link to my blog on your blog? Just delete this comment if I’m out of line.)
http://jeffsdeepthoughts.wordpress.com/2008/02/28/how-i-came-to-christ-part-ii-jesus-invades-my-life/
great additional observation my friend. Perhaps that clarifies to some parents who feel they did not do things right because they have rebellious 20, 30, etc old “children.”
In another quick study on the word for old it does describe a person who is old and wise, an elder. the word old is more descriptive in quality than of a particular age. The biblical and proverbial comparision is only of someone young and someone old. Someone who is fooish is described as young. Someone who is wise is described as old. So perhaps the proverb further notes that once a person reaches a quality of wisdom, despite the age, they find that it’s the same wisdom that their parents had been teaching them all along.
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