Proverbs 17:17  “A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity.”

This verse is the oddest verse in Proverbs 17.  It just doesn’t seem to fit the rest of the context.  Before and after this statement are verses describing a fool in their lifestyle, character, and dealings with money and other people.

This verse is so commonly to mean that a friend will love at all times and family is born to help in time of need.  Kinda like a “blood is thicker than water” statement.  In fact, the New English Translation puts a note at the bottom stating: “…is born for adversity.” This is not referring to sibling rivalry but to the loyalty a brother shows during times of calamity. This is not to say that a brother only shows loyalty when there is trouble, nor that he always does in these times.”

However, I tend to think that given the context of Proverbs 17 and even reading the history of families in Genesis that it isn’t too far reaching to suggest the verse means “a friend loves at all times, and a brother is born so you can have someone to fight with.”

Growing up with a twin brother (we fought when we were young a lot but always had a great relationship) and hearing of all the family issues that every family deals with, the application and understanding of the verse this way is somewhat reassuring.  And you can’t but laugh a little inside knowing that Solomon understood family feuds.  They were in every family since Adam and Eve. And if we didn’t have family to fight with, we would fight with our friends, but then we wouldn’t have any friends. Praise God for families.

This past weekend, July 4th fell on a Sunday.  Our church, Fellowship Church, holds an outdoor service the first Sunday of July for the past 7 years.  So last November, we put on the calendar to have a Family Experience as our outdoor service. Our Family Experience is a time where the kids and the adults get together for a shared worship experience, full of drama, dancing, music and comedy.  The message of the experience centers around one virtue, in which the kids will be or have already just learned for the month. This July 4th, we combined the virtue of Responsibility (done in June) and Service (to be done in July).

Months of preparation go into a FmExp.  The dance team leader, Carie Holman, gets with me about 2 1/2 months out and we hash out the theme and some song selection.  She then gets the team of dancers together (there were 13 dancers this time) and with the help of some other dance coordinators create dance moves for the 2-3 new songs (we do 4 or 5 total).  The dance team practices every week for a couple of hours for the next two months on these moves and songs.

During this time, I’ve reviewed all the available scripts (they are a part of our kids curriculum and I would recommend it to any church) and picked the best “Credible/Comic Intro Sketch,” “Main Drama Skit,” and “Main Bible Storytelling” Skits.  Then I sent out a call to some actors/actresses and hand out parts according to the needs.  I usually play the part of Credible Host and main bible storyteller.  For the next month, I’m practicing lines, coordinating schedule practices, finding props, working on sound effects and music transitions, creating visuals and video intros, etc.  Then during the week of the event, I’m getting the set put together, and making sure the visuals are ready for the production team.  We do one big dress rehearsal that week with everyone together and then it comes “show-time!”

For the 4th, we kept it shorter because of the heat and all.  Normally it is around 65 minutes, this one was 40 minutes.  Being outside of course has it own issues like sound microphone issues. Probably wouldn’t need microphones, but we were also recording the show on camera and wanted the best quality for that as well, especially as we use this for our online viewing and will use the video during our kids court booth at this years Holden Days.

All in all, the crowd tells me it was just great and we always have a great time doing it too.  And here are a few pics of the FmExp.

I find it absolutely amazing if people say that the bible is an outdated book that does not have relevance to today’s world.  If you have brothers and/or sisters, you’ve experienced some form of jealousy and feeling ripped off of what is “mine.”

Oldest children get this when a new baby sister or brother is born.  This might happen at Christmas or other gift giving occasions. Think about all the times and reasons you have ever been in a sibling rivalry.  Now guess what? Examples are all over the bible and they have been happening for thousands and thousands of years.

Solomon, the wisest man outside of Jesus, says that there is nothing new under sun.  If it happens, it has already happened before.

Jacob robbed his older brother Esau of his inheritance. Jacob gave one of his youngest son, Joseph, a one of a kind special coat while his other 10 older brothers got nothing.   Those brothers ended up selling him to the Egyptians because they couldn’t stand the favoritism towards Joseph.

Jacob later adopted Manasseh and Ephraim (Joseph’s sons) and gave them a piece of royal lineage among the 12 tribes of Israel (Jacob’s other name).  Jacob even purposely blessed Manesseh, the younger, more over Ephraim, the older, just as he did to his own older brother.

David was chosen King over his older and stronger and taller 6 brothers. Later David chooses Solomon, Bathsheba’s son, to become king after him instead of the rightful heir, his oldest son, Adonijah.

Jesus’ brothers didn’t even believe He was the Christ until long after His death, burial and resurrection.

The bible is not boring or irrelevant.  Open up and read some, you’ll love it!

I have a twin brother.  When we were little, I remember my mom telling us that she loved us both equally.  We would draw something and ask her “whose is better” and she of course would say “I love them both as much.”  One day I wrote something both with my right hand and my left hand and asked my mom “which one looks neater.” Probably thinking it was one of our tricks, she said “they both look great to me.” Come on!!

My parents had it down to a science.  They made sure we were treated equally.  They even probably spent more time making sure this happened than anything. They made sure our gifts at birthdays and Christmas totaled the same and I even think one year she showed us the receipts to prove it!

I think this is really key for parenting.  There are examples in the Old Testament that would attest to this as well.  Isaac loved Esau more, but his wife Rebekah loved Jacob more.  They were twins.  Rebekah helped Jacob steal Esau’s blessing and inheritance and so in return Esau went out and married women from the land that Isaac said not to.  Esau became the father of a great nation, the Edomites.  The history of the Edomites is quite fascinating in that they were forever rivals of the Israel (Jacob) lineage, and in fact, it is said that the Herods of the New Testament, who tried to kill Jesus, were of Edomite stock.

Parents, the task of making sure every one of your kids is loved equally is not as easy as it sounds, but it is an important one.  Even more would be to make sure your child’s perception is that everyone is loved equally.  So I have to ask myself and I’ll ask you, “how have you been doing”? Either way, tell your kids you love them.

Again, my mind goes crazy from reading these stories in the Old Testament.  I kinda laugh out loud a lot.  Jacob in Genesis is just a riot to read about.  His mother loved him more than his older twin, Esau, and devised a plan with Jacob at his father’s death bed to dress up and pretend that Jacob was Esau in order to steal the older brother’s blessings and inheritance. Well it worked and Jacob was the one blessed by Isaac.  God confirms Jacob’s blessings to become a great nation later on.  I have to wonder whether Esau would have had the blessings of God if Isaac had blessed him as he was suppose to?

Later, after Jacob was married to both Leah and Rachel (see previous post for that sort of crazy sex life), Jacob negotiated with his father-in-law to keep all the spotted and non-perfect sheep.  Laban agreed to the deal and then Jacob devised this plan to have the strong sheep mate in front of this peeled branch of poplar, which caused the sheep to develop spots and streaks on them.  Jacob kept all the strong sheep and Laban had all the weak ones!

Stories like this are all in Genesis.  Like Abraham lying about Sarah being his sister instead of his wife (and not on only one occasion) to the kings because he was afraid they would kill him.  In return, God warns these kings in dreams and the kings get scared and give Abraham lots of loot for the misunderstanding?!

I understand that we can’t just sit back and let God baby us and the saying goes that “God blesses those who help themselves,” meaning that God blesses hard work, but this sounds a little odd that God would bless these guys who deliberately lie, cheat and trick to get ahead. I wonder if God just saw these occasions as having to come in and clean up the mess of his dumbfounded family? If so, I wonder how many times God has done that for me.

Married? Ever look at other grass too long? Ever commit adultery? Ever been cheated on? Heard this great message by Craig Groeschel from Lifechurch.tv.  Watch it and maybe talk with your spouse about the 20% that causes you to want to give up the 80% and then embrace longer on the 80% that the 20% will never give you.

You don’t have to watch the news very long before you hear someone say “there’s no way, he/she would ever do something like that/this.” There’s even this recent story about how no one could believe that children would create a story or lie about what happened.  Outside of looking and debating about these particular stories, the truth is that everyone is capable of doing the unthinkable.  The moment you believe “someone could never”…is the moment you’ll be crushed when you learn that “oh yes they could and did.”

The bible says: “As it is written: “There is no one righteous, not even one;” (Romans 3:10); “The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it?” (Jeremiah 17:9); “This is the evil in everything that happens under the sun: The same destiny overtakes all. The hearts of men, moreover, are full of evil and there is madness in their hearts while they live, and afterward they join the dead.” (Ecclesiastes 9:3); “For from within, out of men’s hearts, come evil thoughts, sexual immorality, theft, murder, adultery, 22 greed, malice, deceit, lewdness, envy, slander, arrogance and folly.” (Mark 7:21); “for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God” (Romans 3:23); “Therefore, just as sin entered the world through one man, and death through sin, and in this way death came to all men, because all sinned” (Romans 5:12).

Even with this, we say, “sure we sin, but I could never kill or cheat on my spouse, etc.” Jesus says that if you despise someone and say “I hate them,” you’ve committed murder in your heart.  Jesus says that if you look at a man or woman and say to yourself “mmm, I would be with them sexually right now if I could,” you’ve committed adultery in your heart.  And don’t think that one could just keep it in your heart and mind and never act on it. James 1:14-15 “But each one is tempted when he is lured and enticed by his own desires.  15 Then when desire conceives, it gives birth to sin, and when sin is full grown, it gives birth to death.”  One’s attention determines their direction.  Focus enough on wanting that desire and you’ll find yourself doing the thing that everyone thought you could never do. And so we have to admit that we, everyone of us including children, are capable of sin.

I’m always amazed when I look into history to find out how things originated. Yeah, I’m a nerd like that.   So many holidays seem to originate of some religious-worship-god reason and then Christianity created some twist on the day to change the focus towards “the church” or Jesus.  Often times there’s no real reason why the holiday falls on the day that it does.  Mother’s day again was no exception.  You can find out more details here: http://www.mothersdaycentral.com/about-mothersday/history/

What interesting as well about all of this is that the general public is usually unaware why a day like this exists.  God in the Old Testament would tell the people to build these little reminder markers (piles of stones) and festivals throughout the year to be a reminder of the awesome things God did for them, even the stipulations and commandments were to be reminders of God’s goodness.

God knew something about mankind.  We have the amazing ability to forget. Deuteronomy 6:12 “be careful not to forget the LORD who brought you out of Egypt, the place of slavery.”  We forget the amazing things that God does for us last week and live this week as though there was not this amazing working on God in our lives.

We also live in a culture today that doesn’t seem for the most part to ask why things are the way they are.  We just go with it.  In the Old Testament, parents would constantly be teaching their children as the spent the whole day with them (Deuteronomy 6:6-7  “These words I am commanding you today must be kept in mind,  7 and you must teach them to your children and speak of them as you sit in your house, as you walk along the way, as you lie down, and as you get up”).  And so it was natural for the children to ask questions, and they still do but we make a joke about how kids constantly say “why, why, why…” when they are toddlers: (Deuteronomy 6:20-21  “When your children ask you later on, ‘What are the stipulations, statutes, and ordinances that the LORD our God commanded you?’  21 you must say to them, ‘We were Pharaoh’s slaves in Egypt, but the LORD brought us out of Egypt in a powerful way’”).

So perhaps we should not only remember our mother on mother’s day, but perhaps gain a better glimpse into God’s use of mother’s throughout history to change how we get to live and the values that we should embrace. Just a thought that I need to learn myself.

I’ve heard a lot of preachers and teachers talk about how all people struggle in putting God first in all areas of their lives.  Often times these are called “idols of the heart” based from Ezekiel 14.  Often I heard examples of idols being like sex, money, power, fame, acceptance, happiness, or peace.  Idols become the driving force behind what we do, what we don’t do and how we react.  A big passage that I love to go to for insight in all this is James 4 and I have even preached on how we use people as tools to get what we want rather than loving people for who they are.

These messages I’ve had to preach to myself over and over as I’ve tried to understand more about myself and my “idols of the heart.”  I heard this amazing message by Craig Groeschel of Lifechurch.tv.  It opens up a 4 part series on Marriage, entitled nicely as “Once Upon A Marriage.” I really recommend this message for teens, singles and married couples.  It takes a hard and direct look at how we use people to satisfy something we feel we must have to exist and be happy.  In our search for and then living with “the one,” we forget about seeking God, who is to be our only number “one.”

I’ve really never connected the dots on this one before, but as a marriage person, we often have gotten married or continue to make the marriage based upon the belief that we thought this person is something so wonderful that they can meet all our needs and we would be satisfied. Maybe you think sex brings satisfaction and acceptance, then you continue to seek your spouse for sex as you did before you were married, so you can be satisfied.  Maybe you think money brings happiness and security, then you continue to hound your spouse to work and make more, because that’s why you were attracted to them in the first place.  Whatever the example may be, the point is that these driving forces, these “idols of the heart” don’t go away in marriage and maybe a marriage was based on these “idols of the heart” to begin with, because once one figures out that the spouse can’t be mr. perfect or mrs. sexgod, satisfaction begins to be fantasied elsewhere.

Maybe more of us need to stop seeing a boyfriend, girlfriend, wife, husband, or a marriage as a replacement for a relationship with God? Ever been here?

At the beginning of 2010, Fellowship Church in Holden, MA put into play a plan of growth and building for the next several years.  I remember telling the family ministries team week after week that Satan will do everything possible to make us get discouraged and not succeed in these plans.  Week after week, Satan has not been disappointed.

It seems to me that I hear and spend more and more time talking with people who are going through junk.  Husbands and wives are fighting, mothers and daughters are fighting, households are struggling with money, people are working longer days and on weekends, sports and activities dominate teen’s lives, singles feel more alone and abandoned, people fall into past sinful tendencies, people give less financially to God through the church, people can’t seem to volunteer anymore, people get sick, and more and more people have less of a desire to make it to Sunday morning services or to small groups.  In these realms, Satan seems to be winning.

But there are a lot of great stuff happening as well…(stay tuned soon or feel free to comment them below).