Category Archives: Random Thoughts

Did I Miss Anything?

I’ll be honest to say that as I’ve followed God’s calling to “Go” (and not sure yet where that going is), it’s been a lot more of wandering that I wanted to experience. Yet, I’ve had the opportunity to gain more perspective about church life and being a Christian.  I remember reading Mark Batterson write that “a different place and a different pace leads to a different perspective.”  It’s the chance to step back and see it a different way.

So for the first week after leaving our previous church, we intentionally didn’t go anywhere.  We simply stayed home. I wanted to feel what it was like to “skip” church and small group. It was kind of awkward not getting ready for church as I saw a lot of my facebook friends and pastors talk about Sunday morning services.  I did kind of feel that I was missing out on something.  But then later in the day, I realized that I wasn’t even sure what I had missed.

Like a monster truck rally, it’s mostly about getting there on Sunday, Sunday, Sunday….but why? Putting on facebook and twitter statements like, “you won’t wanna miss this next weekend, it’s going to be awesome!” or “we start a new series that I can’t wait to share with you about” or “I’m making a big announcement this weekend, it’s going to be so big you better be here” don’t really do much for me.  I don’t know about other people, but it kinda leaves me wondering what’s the point? What are they really going to be sharing that I can get excited about long before I “have” to get there? Is the only goal attendance or is it daily spiritual awakening? I often wonder what else is going on during the week that I can get excited about or even involved in with.  Even if I’m in a small group during the week, that may not be enough if it doesn’t get the point either.

I don’t mean to sound critical or act like I know it all. My point is this. Try getting people involved, excited, encouraged, connected, provoked to be with God and to become aware of their impact locally and globally during the whole week. Many churches, organizations and pastors do this and I love seeing and hearing about it.  It reminds me when I taught Sunday school at a church when I was in college.  One week, I ran into a student from that class at the grocery store.  The look on the little kid’s face was of shock.  He wondered what I was doing there.  I said “buying groceries.”  In a weird way, since the kid had only seen me at church on Sundays, he kind of thought that I lived at the church and by default never existed in the world “they” roam every other day.  Even though none of us are naive to think such things about churches, organizations and pastors these days; sometimes, I believe we never think or realize otherwise and we end up thinking we didn’t miss anything after all.

Search for Significance

I began reading a book called Rescuing Ambition by Dave Harvey.  In the forward, C.J. Mahaney writes:

“Humility doesn’t have to quench ambition. And ambition- the right kind- doesn’t have to trample humility” (p. 9).

The more I thought about this and my own life, the more I see this tension.  Christian passion and zeal have often come across as being crazy, irrational, unbalanced, unrealistic, wacky, weird and even sinful because it can be prideful and against a “suffering” way of living as a Christian.  To run around in excitement and have ambition to see something grow (even if it is for God) somehow means that one is trying to draw attention to themselves rather than to God Himself.  It somehow means that searching for significance and doing things of significance has to be searching to be somebody important, to have the attention drawn to themselves.  And no doubt, you and I can name a few people or even ministries that do easily fit that stereotype.  So the result for many, including myself, is to make sure we live in opposition to ambition: “humility”.

Practically, I would always find myself checking my “pride” and choosing to remain humble in the form of sitting back and being quiet.  I would even praise my humble submissiveness (or blame others for being in my way) or I just thought I shouldn’t because I don’t know enough (intimidation hurts ambition too and expresses itself as a false humility).  So every few years, I realized I lost some passion.  Yet, as with Jeremiah and Ezekiel, there was a fire, deep inside, to proclaim what God had put in my heart: to proclaim ambition, to live according to something of worth, something of significance. I think it is a common track for many people.  I’ve enjoyed books like IT and Chazown by Craig Groeschel or Soul Print and Wild Goose Chase by Mark Batterson or Holy Discontent by Bill Hybels that speak about Christian passion and ambition and how to find it.

I’m slowly learning that humility can even be the wrong kind when it subverts the very gifts God has placed within us.  These gifts are God-designed for me to best bring Him something of worth, something of weight, and something of significance (the meaning of ‘glory’). The “search for significance” doesn’t have to equal sinfulness or selfishness.  I see too many of us living day to day without passion, ambition, joy or a sense of significance.  I believe we desire to know that we are doing something of value and of worth.  Sometimes we simply don’t know what that is and we’re tired of trying. Sometimes we just simply don’t see or hear the affect we’ve made with our time, influence and resources.  Sometimes we are tired of dealing with people telling us how to live out our gifts for the fulfillment of their passion.

There are a million reasons that can affect our ambition and joy. So, sitting back and just living life is less complicated, but it lacks joy, doesn’t it?  I don’t believe that it’s okay to live life knowing that we are here just to live and then to die and to be forgotten.  In one sense, this is a true reality as Solomon writes in Ecclesiastes. But in another sense, it lacks the reality of Jesus in our lives. ”Suffering” for Christ does not mean it is without enjoyment, ambition and knowing our lives are of significance.

I hope to talk about what God sees as significant in the next coming posts.

Restoring My Joy

There is this verse in the Psalms where David cries out to God for a restoration of joy in his life.

Restore to me the joy of your salvation and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me. (Psa 51:12 NIV)

The Psalm is written when David’s sin and adultery with Bathsheba was confronted by the prophet Nathan.  Having your sin exposed is humiliating because sin is inherently shameful.  All of us experience and participate in sin.  We often don’t feel the shame associated with it because we have justified or reasoned the deed to be “normal” (or whatever we tell ourselves).

But what that has left us with is a life without joy.  A life without joy doesn’t have to be gloomy and depressing.  It could be a steady, emotionless, almost “adult-like” living.  We could even be more focused at business because there are going to be less and less things that grab our attention for excitement. It’s as though nothing really matters anymore.  It’s the pessimistic outlook on life that Solomon writes about in Ecclesiastes.

So I commend the enjoyment of life, because nothing is better for a man under the sun than to eat and drink and be glad. Then joy will accompany him in his work all the days of the life God has given him under the sun. (Ecc 8:15 NIV)

David writes in Psalm 32, that this living with sin (and therefore without joy) is actually slowly destroying his body (Ps. 32:3-4).  The solution, as outlined in both of these Psalms, is to confess our sins to God and begin reflecting and sharing how good God has been, is and will be in our lives. Having someone speak into our lives, besides ourselves and including the Holy Spirit and the Bible, is key to experiencing joy in our lives.

As I’ve transitioned from Fellowship Church and learning more about following the Holy Spirit’s lead in my life, the more and more I realize how sinful I am, yet how much God loves me and how much God desires for me to live with joy in light of that love.  For too long I’ve lived as most “older” Christians have lived: a steady, repetitive, yet emotionless, unmotivated life of “enjoying” God’s blessings on my life. Living in this mysterious middle has been confusing and discouraging in certain aspects.  But it has also been enlightening, a going “back-to-the-basics” time, and holding onto the things that really matter.  I highly encourage you to simplify your life a little and leave plenty of room for God to work in your life as you reflect on the joy of HIS salvation.  His salvation on your life (if you’ve accepted Jesus Christ as the Savior of your sins and the Master of your life) leads to joy and lets your own spirit be willing and motivated to live a life of excitement for God, a life that can really sustain you in the long haul.