Marriage as an Idol?

I’ve heard a lot of preachers and teachers talk about how all people struggle in putting God first in all areas of their lives.  Often times these are called “idols of the heart” based from Ezekiel 14.  Often I heard examples of idols being like sex, money, power, fame, acceptance, happiness, or peace.  Idols become the driving force behind what we do, what we don’t do and how we react.  A big passage that I love to go to for insight in all this is James 4 and I have even preached on how we use people as tools to get what we want rather than loving people for who they are.

These messages I’ve had to preach to myself over and over as I’ve tried to understand more about myself and my “idols of the heart.”  I heard this amazing message by Craig Groeschel of Lifechurch.tv.  It opens up a 4 part series on Marriage, entitled nicely as “Once Upon A Marriage.” I really recommend this message for teens, singles and married couples.  It takes a hard and direct look at how we use people to satisfy something we feel we must have to exist and be happy.  In our search for and then living with “the one,” we forget about seeking God, who is to be our only number “one.”

I’ve really never connected the dots on this one before, but as a marriage person, we often have gotten married or continue to make the marriage based upon the belief that we thought this person is something so wonderful that they can meet all our needs and we would be satisfied. Maybe you think sex brings satisfaction and acceptance, then you continue to seek your spouse for sex as you did before you were married, so you can be satisfied.  Maybe you think money brings happiness and security, then you continue to hound your spouse to work and make more, because that’s why you were attracted to them in the first place.  Whatever the example may be, the point is that these driving forces, these “idols of the heart” don’t go away in marriage and maybe a marriage was based on these “idols of the heart” to begin with, because once one figures out that the spouse can’t be mr. perfect or mrs. sexgod, satisfaction begins to be fantasied elsewhere.

Maybe more of us need to stop seeing a boyfriend, girlfriend, wife, husband, or a marriage as a replacement for a relationship with God? Ever been here?